Choosing Adventure

Last weekend I had the opportunity to attend a deaf church. When my roommate suggested I come with her, I didn't hesitate. Of course I would go! I also had the opportunity to go with a colleague and his family to visit his daughter at boarding school. Again, when the idea was presented, I didn't hesitate. Then, this past weekend, I went with my roommate to a sports gala for kids with special needs. I said I would help and had absolutely no idea what the day was except that it was a big event for kids with disabilities. All three adventures were amazing experiences -- memories I will treasure.

I'm realizing that this time in Uganda, and my last time in here, I was and am so willing to just say yes. To anything. I want to experience all this country, culture, and people have to offer. I want to build relationships and immerse myself. So I often say yes to doing things, even if I have no idea what I am in for.

Which has me thinking: am I as willing to choose adventure when I'm in the US?

To be honest, I think I shy away from many things when I am in my home culture. I feel hesitant to try new things or to just say yes. Even going to church by myself when Brian is out of town feels like a stretch. Why am I so willing to go off to who knows where and to sign up to do things here, when at home I hesitate?

I don't know why yet but I do know that I want to be more bold. To embrace the adventure of living in the US the way I embrace life in Uganda. This is one of those lessons I'm trying to hold on to and remember. I want to learn to embrace experiences in the US the way I've done here. To remain flexible and excited to try something new. To accept invitations without hesitation, knowing that by saying yes I am opening myself up to learning something new.

And, as always I want to remember that: the scary things, the things that make me hesitate, are always worth doing.

Kids performing at the Sports Gala

Learning Life Lessons From Giving 'Free' Time

The past few months I've been volunteering twice a week at a local non-profit that helps African refugees and immigrants get settled here in the US. I love it! I am surrounded by people from Africa and I have the opportunity to hear such interesting stories. I feel strongly about being a part of improving communities and in the US I believe that means being a part of welcoming newcomers to the community. I love being a part of helping these people get a bit more settled to life in America. I'm so thankful for my Ugandan friends who helped me find my way, that I believe this is one way to pass on my appreciation and to stay connected to the lessons I learned about living as a minority.

Anyway, most days I go into the office and assist clients that are currently looking for jobs. I teach them computer skills and how to fill out online job applications. I explain the general job search process and help them get started. Sometimes I help them with other computer-related questions, such as email. I ask them about where they're from and about their families...I listen to their stories. I celebrate with them when they get a job. Sometimes I research open jobs in the area. Other times I chat with the staff about African issues or my experience in Uganda. It's been a great way to maintain my teaching skills, stay connected in a small way to Africa, and to give some structure to my week.

One day last week when I arrived there weren't any clients to help so the staff asked me to file paperwork. They showed me the files, explained the system, and for three hours I filed. I punched holes in papers, pulled folders, and filed the papers. Not glamorous by any stretch of the imagination. And at one point it occurred to me that I could be annoyed by what I was doing. I could wonder why I gave my time [freely!] to simply file papers. I could feel frustrated that I'm still looking for a job and am spending my time doing this instead.

But I wasn't annoyed. I didn't mind at all, actually. Because one thing I am learning is that volunteering with such a great organization and wonderful people helps give a bit more purpose and perspective to my life right now. And, although I'm giving some of my time away for 'free', I'm learning a lot. I am learning about Minnesota and all the crazy paperwork newcomers to America have to fill out. I am learning to ask good questions and to listen to the immigrants' and refugees' stories. I'm surrounding myself with people who are positive about finding jobs in this economy.

But the most humbling thing I am learning is to let go of my pride at wanting the 'perfect' librarian job. So many of the clients I work with are happy to look for [and get] entry-level, $9/hr, factory jobs. It's made me think a bit more about about my job search. Since moving to Minnesota, I keep saying I just want a job, I just want something to do. But am I really looking for any job or for my 'perfect' job? I realized I was saying I just wanted a job but when it came down to it I didn't want any job, I wanted a librarian job. Which is fine, but I realized I needed to call my job search what it is: a search for a librarian position. The process of helping other people look for jobs is a good reminder that there ARE jobs out there. And that no job is necessarily better than another. Part of living here means paying rent, heat, electricity, etc. and there are times that any job that can pay the bills is good enough. So often I wrap my life purpose into to my job and this experience has reminded me that maybe, just maybe, my purpose is not what I do.

I recently read this article about volunteering and this one. They were encouraging articles reminding me about all the great things about volunteering. And while volunteering may not always be glamorous and it may not open any doors professionally, it is a good opportunity to put some purpose back into my life. It has helped me keep up some of my skills. And most importantly it is an opportunity to remind myself that the world is bigger than me and that in some small way I can stay connected and listen to the stories of African people.

Staying Culturally Relevant

So, while I've been walking through this journey of finding a job, I've been thinking a lot about what I should/could be doing with my time in addition to looking for and applying to [library jobs]. Options so far include: random part-time job at Starbucks or Target, watching movies all day, reading novels, volunteering, and/or waiting it out.

At any rate, I recently decided that I really needed something to do with my time besides job search. And I've been looking at volunteering with a couple organizations in the area that have some sort of international focus. I want to stay connected, somehow, to people from other countries and cultures. I just feel like I have so much to learn from them and building relationships with people who are different than me is incredibly rewarding [even if wading through language barriers takes loads of patience].

Last week I went to visit an organization that helps newly arrived refugees, asylees, and immigrants. The organization helps them get acclimated to American life in various ways. One way is through teaching basic computer, English, and job search skills. I contacted the organization expressing my interest in possibly helping with that component. I loved teaching computers in Uganda and I figured this might be similar. At the very least it would be a chance to meet some people and keep up my teaching skills while I look for a job.

So, I went last week and observed and helped teach a class on computers. And, it was great to meet people from other countries and to help a bit with some basic questions. But I suddenly realized that although I might still be working with people from other countries, the context is totally different.

I know. It's sort of obvious. I even had a little 'Oh, yeah...duh!' moment in my head. But it's still a reversal and a different way of thinking.

For example, one of the things I often dealt with in Uganda was the African view on time. In general, things happen when they happen. And despite the fact that we were on a college campus, things often ran a bit 'late'. I generally didn't mind too much and tried to find the balance between African time and the more regulated college time. But here students pretty much have to be on time for class...even if they come from a culture that views time differently. Because they now live in a very time-driven culture.

And what struck me last week was that in Uganda I was trying to help give students skills that would help them in their African context (i.e. basic search and email skills). And here students need skills for their American context. Again, obvious. But a different way of thinking about what to teach and important skills to know or learn.

Obviously many of skills are the same: email, using the internet, typing, etc. But there are the things like teaching people the importance of being on time here in America. Typing and basic computer skills are almost expected here but in some parts of the world they're simply an added bonus to your skill set.

Anyway, this post is not particularly profound but just some of my random thoughts about switching between cultures. And teaching in different cultures. And reminding myself to stay culturally relevant no matter what culture I am working in.

All Libraries Are Not Created Equal

Last week, I set foot in an American Library...the first one I've been to since I've been back from Uganda,  just over three months since returning to the US. Weird. You'd think, as a librarian, I'd be itching to get into a library when I arrived back. And in some ways I was...wanting the familiarity of books in rows and hushed voices. Amidst the craziness this summer there were time I thought: "Just go to the library...it's familiar and orderly." But with a wedding to plan and about a million other things going on, I just never went.

To be honest, there was also a part of me that wasn't [isn't?] ready. I wasn't ready to face an area of extreme contrast between my life in Uganda and my life here in the US. Sure, there are tons of contrasts every day but the library. My work, my refuge, my frustration, and my joy. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't enter a library because I knew I would be flooded with memories and maybe tears.

My library in Uganda was/is: small, covered in gecko-poop, dusty, cracked, simple, and full of people I loved and admired.

And then there's the library I walked into here: big [unbroken!] windows, clean, carpeted, and full of strangers and new computers and books.

I miss my little library in Uganda. I love[d] it. Red dust and all.

Because to me it was my work and my life. Maybe it's because the library was where I had control and now, being back in the US in a new city, without a job, I feel like I have very little control. For me, there's comfort in creating order when your world is feeling a bit unsteady.

Mostly, though, it has me wondering again why some areas of the world seem to have so much in terms of money and worldly goods and why others don't. It made me ask questions about life and fairness. Do you American librarians know how lucky you are? The contrasts between life in America and life in Uganda come up at the strangest times. I try hard to just accept them as different...two different countries and cultures. I try not to get too caught up in the 'why?' because I know it will only drive me crazy.

So, I looked around the bright, shiny, new library and  I saw people using computers, reading, looking for books...and I forced myself to remember why libraries exist in the first place. I forced myself to remember that libraries exist to serve people...to connect them to information. And every library is unique to its community.

I don't know why things are the way they are in this world. I saw this video the other day and can't get it out of my head. I keep thinking about Africa and here and wondering why things are so different. I keep asking myself how I can come alongside the people I love in Uganda...still loving them from here.

But mostly, I keep remembering the smiles and laughter I shared with friends. The stories of perseverance I heard. And I hope that I will learn to see the libraries here as wonderfully as I see that one: providing space for community to grow.

Making America Home Again

I have now been back in the US for almost three weeks. My heart's a mess, to say the least. I have a lot of reflecting to do...and am trying to just roll with the emotions. I want to transition well and am trying to let myself think things are weird, cool, hard, exciting, etc. Someone told me it can take a year to really transition back, which was freeing to me...I don't have to feel completely adjusted yet! Which is good, because I'm not. :)

I wrote a post similar to this in December when I was visiting the US with some similar observations and I'm finding many of the same things overwhelming. But I'm also finding the cultural adjustments a bit harder this time. Like I'm a stranger in my own country. In December, if I thought something was weird here in the US I just told myself "It's ok, you're just visiting...you'll be back in Uganda soon". This time I don't have that luxury [another issue in and of itself to sort through]. I'm trying to make America home and finding it a harder process than I expected.

So, for now and for what it's worth...here are the American things I am still getting used to:

• PAVED roads [everywhere!] and orderly driving.
• Advertisements everywhere.
• Tap water for brushing teeth or drinking [I almost always think I need to bring water into the bathroom with me to brush].
• Clean feet.
• Eggs with yellow yolks...they look so fake! [before you ask: most eggs I saw in Uganda had white yolks].
• Not seeing my Ugandan friends everyday.
• Planning...the pace of life in the US is so different than in Uganda. I feel like I'm having trouble keeping up with everything.
• Air conditioning. Mostly only banks and other 'official' buildings have air conditioning in Uganda.
• Stuff...not sure how else to say it but there's just stuff everywhere. Stores are full of all kinds of things. And full of lots of one thing. I had a breakdown in a particularly large thrift store, of all places...I just couldn't get over how much excess people had to donate.
• Bazungu (white people) everywhere. I got so used to being a minority, it's weird to be living in a community where there is little diversity.
• No boda bodas...I really miss riding motorcycles. And being able to just call 'my' boda drivers to come pick me up.
• Credit cards...swiping a card makes spending money feel a bit fake. 
• Being able to call my fiance every day. :)
• Shorts...after living in a culture where people dress conservatively I am often distracted by people (men and women) wearing shorts. It's weird to see so much skin! And the first time I wore shorts, I felt so naked.
• American accents. I miss Ugandan English. And find myself saying 'Sorry' to everything.
• Texting with a full keyboard. My American phone has a full keyboard...my phone in Uganda was just a basic phone with a number pad. I got so used to texting the 'old fashioned' way it's great to have a QWERTY keyboard again for texting again. (Hey, it's the little things, right? :))
• Long days. Daylight on the equator is 7am-7pm...I still can't get over the fact that it stays light until after 9pm!

Anyway, those are just some of my little reflections. I'm trying to just let myself react to things as I react and feel what I feel (without analyzing why, etc.) and I figure these things are all part of the process. The process of making more than one culture home.